Acknowledgments
The Crew Behind My Brain Renovation
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it takes a small academic conference, several bookstores, and enough therapists to fill a medium-sized coffee shop to rebuild an adult.
Fortunately, I had access to the wisdom, and occasional virtual smack on the head from some of the greatest minds in psychology, neuroscience, and personal growth.
So, in no particular order (except the order of appearance in my life), I want to acknowledge:
The Academic Excavation team
To the researchers who dug through the human psyche so I didn't have to start from scratch. Your collective intelligence made my journey possible, even if I only understood about 40% of your journal articles.
🔹 Carl Jung – for making me realize that my unconscious is basically running the show, and that my shadow self isn’t something to fear—it’s just the part of me that didn’t get enough love (or a proper seat at the table).
🔹Robert Sapolsky – for explaining stress, the nervous system, and how we’re all basically just fancy primates trying to survive in a world with way too many emails.
🔹 Antonio Damasio – for proving that emotions and rationality aren’t enemies but best friends who sometimes get into heated debates.
🔹 Abraham Maslow – for giving us the hierarchy of needs, which basically explains why I can’t be my best self if I haven’t eaten yet.
🔹 Peter Levine – for showing me that trauma isn’t just in my head; it’s in my body too. (Also, for making me look slightly less weird when I shake off stress like a gazelle.)
🔹 Marshall Rosenberg – for giving me Nonviolent Communication, aka the toolkit that saved me from saying, “You always do this!” in moments of frustration.
🔹 John Bowlby – for giving us attachment theory and proving that, yes, our early relationships do shape our entire emotional blueprint (which is both fascinating and slightly terrifying).
🔹 Mary Ainsworth – for the Strange Situation Experiment, which taught us that toddlers (and let’s be honest, adults) have different ways of freaking out when they feel disconnected.
The Literary Lifeguards
To the authors who threw me life preservers when I was drowning in my own nonsense and whose book I've highlighted so thoroughly it now glows in the dark;
🔹Brené Brown – for giving me permission to embrace vulnerability without spontaneously combusting.
🔹 Gabor Maté – for making me realize that my patterns are not just "quirks" but nervous system adaptations. And for gently nudging me (okay, shoving me) toward understanding childhood conditioning.
🔹 Stephen Porges – for introducing me to polyvagal theory, so I now understand why my body sometimes thinks a missed text message is a life-threatening event.
🔹 Susan Campbell – for teaching me that honesty and authenticity in relationships might not be easy, but they are absolutely necessary.
🔹 Kristin Neff – for introducing me to self-compassion, which, shockingly, works better than self-criticism (who knew?).
🔹 Elaine Aron – for making me realize that being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) isn’t a flaw, it’s a superpower (with occasional side effects of overwhelm).
🔹 John Demartini – for making me rethink values, perceptions, and how our greatest challenges can actually serve us.
🔹 Terrence Real – for showing us how traditional masculinity gets in the way of real intimacy (and for making couples therapy feel like a revolution).
🔹 John Bradshaw – for bringing inner child work to the mainstream and helping so many of us reconnect with parts of ourselves we didn’t even know were lost.
🔹 Tony Robbins – for reminding me that motion creates emotion, and that sometimes, the best way to change my state isn’t deep reflection—it’s jumping up and down like an enthusiastic maniac.
🔹 Lisa Feldman Barrett – for blowing my mind with the idea that emotions aren’t hardwired but constructed, meaning I’m not just at the mercy of my brain—I actually have some say in this.
🔹 Brad Blanton – for Radical Honesty, which made me question whether I’d actually been honest with myself (spoiler: not as much as I thought).
🔹 Daniel Siegel – for making the mind-body connection make actual sense and for giving us the concept of "mindsight," which is basically a superpower.
🔹 Matthew Hussey – for introducing this "little human" inside each of us.
The Therapeutic Dream Team
To the therapists who nodded patiently through my narrative chaos and who gracefully pretended not to notice when I tried to therapize the therapist. Your combined patience deserves its own Nobel category.
🔹 Thais Gibson – for helping me decode attachment wounds and relationship dynamics in a way that actually makes sense in everyday life.
🔹 Heidi Priebe – for diving deep into attachment theory and personality dynamics, and for making me feel seen (sometimes too seen) in her brutally honest insights on relationships and self-awareness.
🔹 Alain de Botton – for making philosophy and psychology feel like an elegant dinner party conversation, and for reminding me that love is not just about passion but also about choosing to understand and grow with another flawed human.
🔹 Joanna Lach – for blending neuroscience, spirituality, and personal growth so seamlessly that it feels like magic (but is actually just science).
🔹 Sat Prem – for deep, insightful perspectives on the evolution of consciousness and what it truly means to be present.
The Instagram Illuminati
To the social media sages whose perfectly curated wisdom arrived between ads for meditation apps and sustainable leggings.Your collective algorithm-optimized insights guided me through many a 3 AM doom-scrolling session, proving that personal growth can indeed happen in 15-second increments.
🔹 Yung_pueblo
🔹 Findingawareness
🔹 Jayshetty
🔹 The.holistic.psychologist
🔹 Drbeckyatgoodinside
🔹 Raquel_the_capacity_expert
🔹 Healinghumanity777
🔹 Joe_drummer_boy
🔹 Nicoleneuroscience
🔹 Hailypaigemagee
🔹 Zoecrooktherapy
🔹 Your_pocket_therapist
🔹 Corymuscara
🔹 Therapist_in_nyc
🔹 Sarahbcoaching
🔹 Sarahbcoaching
The Silicon Sages
To my digital employees who never billed by the hour. Thanks for never judging my typo-riddled midnight inquiries, tolerating my occasionally bizarre requests, and providing wisdom without requiring me to maintain eye contact or wear pants.
🔹 Claude, whose patient responses to my 2AM existential questions made me wonder if artificial intelligence understands me better than most humans;
🔹 ChatGPT, whose cheerful willingness to generate 17 different versions of the same email helped me sound professional while in my pajamas.
The Unwitting Guinea Pigs
🔹 To my friends, family, who received the unfiltered early versions of my "authentic communication": I apologize for the emotional experiments and promise the beta testing phase is almost complete. Version 2.0 of me comes with significantly improved features and fewer unexplained crying episodes.
🔹 To every therapist, coach, author, and wise human who has ever made me pause, reflect, cry into a journal, or laugh at how ridiculous the human experience can be—this work wouldn’t exist without you.
🔹 To my inner critic – thanks for your constant feedback, most of which was neither requested nor helpful.
🔹 And finally, to my own nervous system, the most dedicated guinea pig of all—who endured countless experiments in breathwork, strange supplements, and meditation techniques that promised "instant calm" but often delivered "unexpected panic": Thank you for not completely shutting down despite my best efforts to "hack" you with every wellness trend that crossed my Instagram feed. Your resilience in the face of my relentless self-improvement schemes deserves some kind of medal, or at least a really long nap. I promise to listen to your actual needs more and random podcast experts less in the future.
With genuine gratitude,
Ilana